Things That Aren’t Okay
1. Consistently disrespecting someone’s wishes
Calling someone by a name they don’t like, for example. It might be a little thing, but it’s not okay. Where do you draw the line between a “little thing” and something that might be triggering?
2. Hurting someone
Hurting people is not cool. It reflects badly on every part of you, and you never know when your victim might turn out to have a black belt in something painful.
3. Putting someone down
This is the psychological equivalent of hurting someone. Don’t do it.
4. Consistently disrespecting someone’s decisions or beliefs
This goes hand in hand with #1. When you tell someone they’re going to hell because they don’t believe in or choose not to follow your deity/ies, they’re just going to hate you more. You don’t actually accomplish anything and you give your beliefs a bad name.
5. Doing something that you’ve been told is hurtful
When you actively choose to do/say/talk about/et cetera something that someone has told you hurts them, you might as well be torturing them psychologically. It’s not okay, and never will be.
6. Hating on someone
Hating is not okay! It is a very, very, VERY negative emotion and will simply eat away at your mind!
That aside, hating someone for who they are– a faith, a sexuality, an identity, a colour, a job– is, quite honestly, stupid. There is nothing you can do about it. The more you hate them, the more they will want to defy you and flaunt their person in your face. You don’t have to like something, but the least you can do is try to accept it.
7. Standing by
Okay, I know anyone who has ever heard any talk about bullying has heard this, but it really is important: don’t be a bystander. It, too, reflects badly on you, and it’s not that much trouble to say hello to someone you saw being bullied, or get their email and ask if they want to talk.
This is a rant that’s been building up for months. I’d like to anonymously thank the people who have gone through situations described in brief here, because you’re the ones who have made this post come about.
I’m a very empathetic person– enough that it makes me depressed at times, torn in multiple directions, etc. I have friends in many situations, not all of them good or even remotely okay. I get so upset over it all, and through my discomfort I manage to write these. I don’t know what to call them, but whatever they are, they help me.
With this one? There are some specific people I would like to show this to. Some of them I know myself, some I’ve only heard about secondhand; all of them could use some rethinking time.
Having listed things that are not okay, I’d like to list some that ARE–
1. Being uncomfortable
2. Trying but failing
3. Not understanding something
5. Being happy, even when it feels like you shouldn’t be
6. Letting your emotions out– if you must use violence, use it on something nonliving
7. Being who you want to be right that moment
8. Forgetting the past, even good things
9. Asking for help